As I was reading the paper while sipping coffee like I do every Saturday morning (that I’m not hungover), I came across this Minneapolis Star Tribune article about gender identity and I felt the urge to flex my writing muscles.
They may be the only muscles I have.
Whatever you want to stand up and fight for, I’m not going to stop you or judge you. Quite frankly, between trying to find a fulfilling job and a decent marital prospect, I don’t really have the time to be too concerned with what other people are doing. Except, I do have a problem with one of the ideas in the article.
Dual-gender is the concept of identifying yourself as both a man and a woman, depending on the situation. Straight from the article: “Tim/Kimberly Walker of St. Paul is a dual-gender person who lives and works under both identities.”
Okay, I get it. Its not easy to introduce yourself to people twice under two different names and deal with the “you’re crazy” comments. I’ve dealt with a few of those comments in my journalism days and they’re hurtful. But, like I said, stand up for what you believe in. Stay with me, though, because I’m about to make a point.
According to M(s/r). Walker, who was described as a rugged-looking guy and a dress-wearing girl, “If I’m in my bald head in a bar, I scare people. When I’m Kimberly, I feel more like a mom.”
Let me get this straight: in order to feel comfortable in a sensitive and nurturing role, you have to appear to be a woman? And, conversely, in order to participate in tough activities, you need to come across as a man?
I thought we moved past that mindset.
The gender identity issue is fascinating because it breaks down stigmas and preconceived notions in order for people to be themselves. But how is playing into people’s expectations by acting a certain way when looking a certain way any sort of progress in society?
It is not. It is retroactive and further polarizes gender norms. Correct me if I’m wrong.
I like to think scaring people at the bar can be a good thing because it means you have something they are afraid to compete with. I wear dresses to the bar, but I’m sure the reason I don’t get approached is because I’m so intelligent and cunning people are intimidated (they’re not). At the same time, I can be caring and affectionate regardless of what I’m wearing, even an Oakland Raiders jersey (I don’t have one, but I know people who do).
I’m mean and I’m nice and I go through mood (personality) changes as my morning coffee wears off and my bloody mary kicks in. But, I do all this as Megan Stewart.
There is a difference between character and characters. “Character” are the consistent mental and moral qualities of an individual. “Characters” are actors playing a role.
When I fail, I fail as Megan Stewart and when I succeed, I succeed as Megan Stewart. I have to own up to both scenarios without making excuses.
Who is the real M(r/s). Walker? And why do you get to hide behind your different identities, while the rest of us have to look at the same person in the mirror everyday?
Either have the guts to rock a dress in a bar like a man or be a bald-headed mommy who does hard manual labor like a bad bitch (i.e. woman). Or be a bald man-mom in a dress. Order prune juice at the bar. Whatever floats your boat.
But, don’t think acting a part make someone an individual. Or, in M(s/r). Walker’s case, individuals.
Megan Stewart 